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By Ann Coulter

As I was admiring the clarity with which my mirror reflects my classic facial features, I found myself deep in contemplative repose about the horrible mistreatment that the United States has suffered at the hands of lesser peoples. Pearl Harbor. The Gulf of Tonkin. The World Trade Center. We have become cannon fodder for those who eat dogs and date camels.

Although it might not be “politically correct” to so opine, it has become painfully obvious that, as long as there are foreigners, America can never truly be safe.

Fortunately, we have sixty thousand nuclear solutions to this problem.

The semiliterate moral defectives in the blue states will doubtlessly react with mindless and tiresome hysteria. Assuming that they are coherent enough to put down their crack pipes and momentarily stop engaging in sodomy, they will simper, “Killing six billion humans is genocide! It is madness to nuke all foreigners!”

Let’s keep in mind that these are the same clowns who said that Nixon was crazy. The blue people who voted for a morbidly obese, earth toned congenital liar should think twice before playing the sanity card.

Admittedly, annihilating every non-American might be too “judgmental” for God-hating liberals whose fondest dream is to force our kindergarten children to wear condoms. However, true Americans believe in the maxim that we must always protect our country. What better way to insure that the United States will never again be attacked than to insure that no one is left alive to attack us?  It is as simple as two plus two equals four, and so it is a concept that is beyond the comprehension of partisan Democrats, most of whom dropped out of elementary school in order to give birth to their food stamp recipient bastard children.

While some will obsess about the actual elimination of all the foreigners, visionaries will focus on the innumerable benefits. An end to illegal immigration. No more arms race. American ships will not have to wait in line at the Panama Canal (which we built!!). And every year, the American contestant will win the Miss World Pageant.

Cleaning house in Asia and Africa will be a slam dunk for most conservatives, but some might question the wisdom of slaughtering white Europeans. This is especially true of the extremely white ones in Northern Europe. It is important to remember that these are socialist infected peoples with left of center leanings. My own stunning Aryan beauty notwithstanding, if we must do away with many Anglo-Flaxens in order to rid the world of the terrorist concept of universal health insurance, then so be it. As Julia Child once said, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

I will personally grieve for the Canadians. They are almost Americans. Close, but no cigar.

As for the rest of the world, good riddance. Name one premium hair care product that originated south of the border. Go ahead; I’m waiting.

The point is made. It’s time for truly decisive action.

Even the liberals will come around when it penetrates their fuzzy heads that an end to foreigners will mean an end to overpopulation, less consumption of fossil fuels, and no more overseas slave wage competition for America’s corrupt labor unions. The upside for leftists is so vast that, in a few years, I wouldn’t be surprised if Al Gore is claiming that he invented global extermination.

We are under siege, and this is not the time to pussyfoot around. All Americans must be forced to answer the following question: Are you on our side, or are you in favor of allowing foreigners to continue to live? Choose.

The choice is easy for any patriot. Despite the cynical liberal demagoguery, all real Americans instinctively know the difference between genocide and comprehensive preemptive demographic realignment.

America can either continue to be the punching bag for the rest of the world or we can resolve the problem once and for all. We have the final solution resting in silos across our great land. The only question is whether we have the will to do what needs to be done.

The United States is just a few beautiful mushroom clouds away from achieving a level of national security that our Founding Fathers could only have imagined. Let’s turn lemons into lemonade. Let’s take the tragedy of September 11 and use it as motivation to do what we should have done long ago – bring an end to all foreign terrorism by bringing an end to all foreigners.

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Last changed: December 13, 2009