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April 1, 2002

News Corporation Chairman Rupert Murdoch is pleased to announce the signing of veteran political analysts David Duke and Dr. Joseph Mengele, who will join the Fox News family immediately.

Duke, 45, is a native of Lousiana. He is a distinguished author, civil rights leader, and public servant.

 Mengele, 105, who has been living for the past 57 years in Paraguay, is a world renowned physician and researcher.

 “This is what’s known in the industry as brilliant ‘counter programming’,” said Washington Post media analyst Howard Kurtz. “CNN signs James Carville and Paul Begala to attract what media experts like me know is a tiny niche of viewers who want coherent political analysis. Now, Fox has checkmated them by going after the vast “Antonin Scalia is a leftist” crowd.

 “Angry white men will have a clear choice,” said Fox News President Roger Ailes. “They can tune in to CNN and hear a logical, reasonable dissertation of the facts from Carville and Begala. Or, they choose Fox and see us torture the truth as though we were doing eugenics experiments on identical twins.”

 “Let’s just say that we’re not losing any sleep about who’s going to get more viewers.”

April fool!

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Last changed: December 13, 2009