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By David Podvin

The Democrats definitely must not use their control of the Senate in order to aggressively confront George W. Bush, or the public will severely punish them.
Americans absolutely love the concept of bipartisanship, but they don’t vote that way. They repeatedly rewarded the Republicans for obstructionist tactics against a president of the opposing party. If the G.O.P. had not treated Jim Jeffords like a pińata, then it would still have control of all three branches of the federal government. Gaining total control of the government is the kind of punishment that the Democratic Party must be willing to endure.

The Democrats should go for the jugular, not on personal issues, but on the highly relevant fact that Bush governs to benefit his campaign contributors at the expense of the average American. In a democracy, this is the most fundamental form of corruption, and the opposition party is morally obligated to defeat it.

If the Democrats were principled enough to confront Bush, then the Republicans would scream that they were being persecuted. The same media that was cheerleading as the Republicans savaged Clinton is currently outraged at their own suggestion that the Democrats might do the same to Bush. Therefore, it would take guts for the Democrats to stand up for principle, and that guarantees it won’t happen.

But it would work.

Partial birth abortion is a barbaric medical procedure that is equivalent to murder.
According to public opinion polls, this is the majority viewpoint in America. The majority is wrong. Partial birth abortion is a wonderful thing. It saves the lives of women who have unanticipated late term complications with their pregnancies. Contrary to the vicious conservative propaganda, women do not go through the pain and expense of carrying a pregnancy into the third trimester so that they can experience the thrill of hunting their fetuses. Annually, there are only twenty five hundred such abortions in America. They occur because women who want to give birth are told the heartbreaking news that the pregnancy is endangering their health. Compassionate, as always, conservatives desperately want to add to the woman’s grief by making her a criminal if she chooses to protect herself.

Partial birth abortion prioritizes the life of the woman over the life of the fetus. The alternative is for women to die at the altar of the Republican Party’s most precious form of life, the “unborn”.

God bless partial birth abortion.

George W. Bush is likeable.
Members of the mainstream press have said this phrase so often that it would be unsurprising to learn that they have copyrighted it and are receiving royalties every time it is repeated. The true meaning of this mantra is that they like him and that everyone else is therefore obligated to like him, too.

Well, I don’t like him. And I don’t like them, either.

The American media is controlled by the Jews.
This is one commonly held assumption that is actually true. For example, NBC is owned by General Electric, which once employed a Jewish temp in its accounting department. News Corporation operates the Fox TV network and major metropolitan newspapers. It is run by Rupert Murdoch, who is a member of a religion that worships a dead Jew. United Press International and the Washington Times are both owned by Rabbi Sun Myung Moon. Clearly, the Jewish domination of the media in this country is as pervasive as it is nauseating.

In one of life’s more vexing ironies, the media in Israel is under the total control of the Southern Baptists.

The California energy crisis is the fault of environmentalists who have reduced supplies by opposing the construction of new power plants.
This is the latest example that conservatives are shameless liars who will distort any situation in order to serve their own purposes. In the city of Los Angeles, which owns its power generators, there have been no blackouts or increases in electricity bills. In fact, L.A. has such a surplus of energy that the city has been selling it to other parts of the state. In the rest of California, the part that the Republicans deregulated in the name of “free enterprise”, there have been rolling blackouts and prices have risen as much as seventeen hundred percent. On hot days, the power plants that serve these areas have coincidentally been shut down for maintenance, reopening only after energy starved cities have agreed to be pay whatever has been demanded of them.

Republicans are adamant about opposing price caps. They insist that we are witnessing wholesome capitalism at work, and that the environmentalists are to blame for the energy “shortfall”.

But there is no shortfall. Socialist Los Angeles is awash in low priced electricity. The rest of the state can have all the energy they want, as long as they capitulate to the extortion of the out of state energy companies. George W. Bush’s biggest campaign contributor, Kenneth Lay of Texas based Enron Corporation, is the driving force behind the rape of the California economy. The Attorney General of California recently said that he would like to reciprocate by throwing Lay into prison with a huge, amorous cellmate.

The bottom line is that energy demand is down, supply is plentiful, and yet costs are going through the roof. This is not what the text books say is supposed to happen in a capitalist economy. However, this is exactly what happens when the president insists on leaving consumers to the tender mercies of his big business benefactors.

It is free market economics, George W. Bush style.

The Strategic Defense Initiative will protect America from incoming missiles launched by terrorist groups or rogue states.
The majority of Americans reportedly embrace this comforting trillion dollar myth. There are two major flaws to SDI. First, according to numerous Nobel Prize winning scientists, the technology to make it work does not exist. Secondly, even if it worked exactly as designed, it still wouldn’t protect the country from a nuclear attack. An enemy could simply fly a nuclear device into Mexico, load it onto a truck, drive it across the border, and emulate Timothy McVeigh. The missile defense system is the Republicans’ method of repaying their contributors in the aerospace industry who, if they were young black women, would be called “welfare queens”.

The subject of masturbation should be absolutely taboo in public schools.
Americans are so squeamish about this topic that Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders lost her job for suggesting that it is important to have a public discussion of the issue. This is a matter of life and death. Every year, an increasing number of teenagers give birth. Others get sexually transmitted diseases, some of them fatal. Contrary to the demented ravings of religious conservatives like Laura Schlessinger, children are not born with innate expertise and restraint in sexual matters. One way or another, human beings will act on their carnal urges. Once having confronted that bitter reality, parents must then decide whether their children should be guided to the safest possible outlet.

If masturbation were discussed with schoolchildren as a superior alternative to other sexual activity, then lives would be saved. Of course, the subject would become obsessive fodder for every bible thumper and untalented comic on the planet. However, children are currently having their lives ruined because of their parents’ childish attitudes. It is definitely better for teenage girls to manually stimulate themselves than for them to have sex. What is less definite is whether Mom and Dad would rather deal intelligently with this fact, or whether they would rather attend their teenage daughter’s baby shower. Or funeral.

Richard Nixon was a great foreign policy president.
Even liberals have bought into this absurd canard. Nixon’s foreign policy was like his economic policy, his environmental policy, his civil rights policy, and the rest of his policies – it was a disaster. In 1968, he said that he had a secret plan to end the war in Vietnam. That plan was revealed more than six years and tens of thousands of American lives later, when the United States unilaterally withdrew in humiliating defeat. Nixon’s decision to drag Cambodia into the conflict led to the greatest per capita slaughter in any country in history. He conveyed to Anwar Sadat that the United States would be taking a more evenhanded approach in the Arab-Israeli conflict, emboldening Sadat to launch the bloody Yom Kippur War. It was during the Nixon administration that the Soviet Union significantly expanded its influence in the Middle East, Latin America, and Africa. Nixon engineered the overthrow of a democratically elected government in Chile. He supported apartheid in South Africa, and he was an advocate for every brownshirt dictator from Iran to Nicaragua.

His “great foreign policy achievement” was the opening of relations with China. Usually unmentioned is the reason that his Democratic predecessors did not take this important step. Kennedy and Johnson knew that if they made a diplomatic gesture to China, then the leader of the Republicans would have accused them of being communist traitors.

That leader was Richard Nixon. Rather than crediting the old reprobate with opening relations to China, give him credit for delaying that opening for eight years.

Religious conservatives condemn homosexuality because the Holy Bible says that it is an abomination, and they sincerely believe in the literal interpretation of every word of the Bible.

Leviticus 11:7-11
And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be cloven footed, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.

Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.

These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.

And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you.

God says that it’s an abomination to eat ham, bacon, sausage, shrimp, lobster, clams, and oysters. He did not say that it is more of an abomination, or less of an abomination, than being homosexual. They are both abominations.

Why are the “sincere” believers not demanding that people who have eaten at the Red Lobster be thrown out of the military in order to maintain unit cohesion? Why aren’t they harassing patrons of Honeybaked Ham?

They are dishonest bigots. They very carefully pick and choose those parts of the Bible that validate their hatred, and they amorally discard the rest.

They have taken the Lord’s name in vain.

When they pack for the journey to the Hereafter, let’s hope for the sake of their eternal comfort that they emphasize clothing that is made of fibers like asbestos.

Al Gore lost the election because he was too closely associated with Bill Clinton/Al Gore lost the election because he distanced himself too much from Bill Clinton.
Don’t torment yourself.
Rationalizing the outcome won’t make you feel better.
Al Gore won the election.
Nothing can ever change that.
Get over it.

Conservatives believe in states rights.
This is the biggest lie since Adam bragged to Eve about all of his previous conquests. Conservatives oppose the right of Oregon voters to allow physician assisted suicide. They oppose the right of California voters to allow the medical use of marijuana. They support states rights only when it comes to allowing a state to “determine its own social order without interference from an intrusive federal government”.  

English translation: They support Jim Crow.  

More David Podvin

Podvin, the Series


Last changed: December 13, 2009